SAN MIGUEL DE ALLENDE: TUESDAY MARKET

Colorful canopies outside the Tuesday Market in San Miguel de Allende
You never know what you will find under the colorful canpies at the Tuesday Market in San Miguel de Allende

The young woman at the Instituto Allende warned me to beware of pickpockets and other unsavory characters I may encounter at the Tianguis de los Martes (Tuesday market). What she didn’t know was that I was one of them.

No, I’m not going around pickpocketing Mexicans here in San Miguel de Allende, although that might be fruitful given the abundance of wealthy Chilangos (people from Mexico City, or “Chilangolandia”) here.

I was talking about the vendors. The peddlers. The hawkers. The carnies — I am one of them. (see Remember Wrigley Field).

Logistically, the Tianguis de los Martes is at what I like to call “the top of the hill.” You can walk up, up, up from the central zone (“centro”) in about 30 minutes. I took a taxi for 70 pesos (US$3.50).

Stuff up there includes the scenic overlook (“El Mirador”), the botanical gardens (“El Charco del Ingenio”) and the fancy mall (“La Luciernaga”), where you catch a flick and can pick up some supplies at Office Depot.

But who needs Office Depot when the Tianguis, literally “open air market,” is just down the street? Well, OK, maybe if it’s not Tuesday and you need some assorted metallic Sharpies.

However, on Tuesdays, the Tianguis is the place to be. It’s huge, the size of a couple of football (or futbol) fields at least, with half of the vendors under an open air, domed roof-like structure and the other half under a quilt of colorful, undulating tarps.

You can buy almost anything at this market, but it’s not really for souvenirs. There are other markets for that. This one is mostly about household goods, and not necessarily what I would call essentials.

Yes, there are mountains of clothes and shoes; pots and pans; power cords and power tools; stereo equipment, cell phones and computers — think of how much money I could have saved on this laptop!

But there also were loads of ceramic pigs, plastic flowers and tiny, mostly unidentifiable (to me) toy figurines. There were gizmos and gadgets — a veritable doohickey lovers delight.

There was at least one makeshift, unsanctioned-by-PETA pet store, with about a dozen chicks, a handful of rabbits and guinea pigs, some little colorful songbirds and one very lonely rooster.

Hungry? Not to worry. There are Mexicans frying fish or flaying flanks around every corner. I tried some crispy chiccarones (fried pig skins) before retreating to a slice of what I would describe as “near pepperoni” pizza and a Coke.

As for the shopping, for some reason, I was most enamored by the old sickles and machetes, laid out OCD-like in perfect row after row. I also liked looking at the old US license plates, from California to Connecticut to Montana to Mississippi.

“I have absolutely no idea how those got on my vehicle, officer, sir,” was how I imagined the conversation would go.

I ended up buying a silicone Apple iPhone 8 phone protector for 140 pesos ((US$7) and a wide brimmed straw hat.

I had been looking for some sun protection in the center of town, but most of the Panama-style hats I had seen so far were too big or too small, too colorful or too expensive — some were priced as much as 4500 pesos (US$250)!

“You look very elegant,” was all the Tianguis vendor had to say. And, “100 pesos.”

Sold.

IF YOU GO:
Arrive early: To beat what I am told can be massive crowds, go in the morning, by 10 am. The schoolchildren pack the place after noon. It was busy but manageable the day I went. The market starts to close around 4 pm.
After the market: If you are staying in the center of town, take a short taxi ride to the scenic overlook, El Mirador. After enjoying the views, just walk down the main street a few blocks and take any one of the narrow pedestrian walkways or roads on the left back into town. It’s all downhill, and the steep, colorful passageways will reward you with some great pics.